Tag: Larissa

November 28, 2019

Blessings…

Holidays can be hard with the stores cheerfully decorated and jolly songs blasting everywhere you go reminding us ‘it’s the most wonderful time of the year.’ I genuinely love the holidays, kicking off the festive season with Thanksgiving, surrounded by loved ones and just sharing the company of one another, discussing the Christmas season and gearing up for Black Friday shopping the next day. However, they can also be a time of sadness and loneliness as we remember our loved ones whom have passed on or are struggling during the holiday season with a recent loss, illness, divorce, or any other hardship. Death, trauma and sickness know no timeline and the holiday season is no different.

Recently, I learned of a dear acquaintance being diagnosed with metastatic cancer after battling his initial round for the past year. I think of him daily and how his life is at a standstill right now while the rest of the world seemingly hustles and bustles to get everything ready by 12-25. I remember the holiday commercials, crowded stores and congested roads the year we lost Larissa. All of that high energy/holiday cheer was in the background as I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders.

So, as I prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving today, I reflect on how far I’ve come since 2010 and the many blessings since then, most of all, my two healthy, energetic and happy children. But I also think of the blessings and love that’s around us even during the hard times. I look back on the stack and I mean stack of cards sent to us from friends, co-workers, friends of friends and so forth reaching out when we lost Larissa and sending us much needed love. Our days here are fleeting and it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of our day to day lives, but the things that really matter aren’t work, possessions or our growing bank account. It’s love and kindness and in a world that seems to only show the negative, let’s focus on all the good that’s out there. Acquaintances and strangers reached out to me with love and support when we lost Larissa and it was every kind word, gentle hug and listening ear that provided the much needed love and support during my time of need to get me through my darkest days.

Despite losing Larissa, I know I’m blessed, and I also know that I’ve gained not only two beautiful children, but I’ve come out stronger than I ever imagined. We all have hardships, and everyone fights some sort of battle even if their Instagram life seems impeccable. So, enjoy today, count those blessings, feel (and I mean feel) the love of those here and passed on, don’t count the calories & eat that extra piece of pie 😉 (our time here is fleeting after all)…

November 22, 2019

Signs…

Believe what you will, but for me, I truly believe the people and experiences we face in life are all part of a bigger picture and things aren’t often a ‘coincidence’ as they often seem.  As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been in a funk since my youngest started kindergarten.  I miss my days home with him and have been filling the void working more which is draining my soul.  Work is taking up so much of my time not only away from home but while AT home between paperwork and phone calls and constantly ‘catching up’ that I have to stop and re-evaluate my life. 


As moms it’s so easy to lose the things that fulfilled us and brought us joy prior to  raising a family, managing a home, working and extracurriculars.  I’ve always said, we are in charge of our own happiness and if we are not happy, what can we do to change that? 

Writing serves as a creative outlet for me as much as cooking, baking, shopping and decorating do.  When I lost Larissa, I was placed in the path of so many women whom shared their stories of loss and how they moved forward.  Those people in random places were not coincidental and I’m certain the signs I’ve been receiving lately to blog also are no coincidence.  I keep getting signs that I believe is Larissa encouraging me to re-discover the things I love and share it here with whomever wants to listen.  So I’m going to take those signs and get back to all the things that ignite my inner light….speaking of light, I’ll share next my favorite candles.  Even simply burning a candle can elevate your mood and help you decompress.  So, check back for my post on a candle I’m absolutely OBSESSED with.  

October 27, 2019

Changes

Fall is a time of year that signifies so many changes, beautiful changes.  The mountains become alive with vibrant fruity pebbles colors, houses get decked out with pumpkins, haystacks and cornstalk arrangements, and for us, back in 2010 we anxiously prepared for the biggest change of all.  We were to welcome our firstborn in November, but life had different plans for us.  It was November 14th when we heard those life changing words ‘I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat.’  Forty weeks of preparation and excitement for that transition to motherhood, for life to change on a dime.  Our firstborn, Larissa, was stillborn at 40 weeks gestation.  From that day on, we found a ‘new normal.’  It was and continues to be a journey of ever adjusting change, raising the two beautiful children we were blessed with after Larissa and turning the grief of our loss into a message to others.  

I’ve created this blog because from 2010 to present, I was blessed to find a new normal.  I poured my heart and soul into raising my two precious children, but as my youngest went to kindergarten this year, I felt a loss of sorts all over again.  My first day home off work with both kids in school, I walked into the house after putting Austin on the bus and cried.  That silence in the house flashed me back to 2010 when silence filled every room in the house.  It’s been almost three months since he started kindergarten and I’ve felt Larissa’s presence…I’ve survived the loss of a child, this too shall pass.  

So, here I am on round two of my ‘new normal.’  When I lost Larissa, I was encouraged to try to remember what brought me joy in life as I put one foot in front of the other.  The things I used to love, I had to slowly get back into…decorating, shopping, makeup, reading and cooking all filled my heart with joy.  The unfolding of this blog will hopefully ignite my inner light as I find another ‘new normal’ and share things I love with all of you with hopes that we come together to make a message of our mess and bring some light to those navigating their way through whatever challenge they face.