Changes

Fall is a time of year that signifies so many changes, beautiful changes.  The mountains become alive with vibrant fruity pebbles colors, houses get decked out with pumpkins, haystacks and cornstalk arrangements, and for us, back in 2010 we anxiously prepared for the biggest change of all.  We were to welcome our firstborn in November, but life had different plans for us.  It was November 14th when we heard those life changing words ‘I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat.’  Forty weeks of preparation and excitement for that transition to motherhood, for life to change on a dime.  Our firstborn, Larissa, was stillborn at 40 weeks gestation.  From that day on, we found a ‘new normal.’  It was and continues to be a journey of ever adjusting change, raising the two beautiful children we were blessed with after Larissa and turning the grief of our loss into a message to others.  

I’ve created this blog because from 2010 to present, I was blessed to find a new normal.  I poured my heart and soul into raising my two precious children, but as my youngest went to kindergarten this year, I felt a loss of sorts all over again.  My first day home off work with both kids in school, I walked into the house after putting Austin on the bus and cried.  That silence in the house flashed me back to 2010 when silence filled every room in the house.  It’s been almost three months since he started kindergarten and I’ve felt Larissa’s presence…I’ve survived the loss of a child, this too shall pass.  

So, here I am on round two of my ‘new normal.’  When I lost Larissa, I was encouraged to try to remember what brought me joy in life as I put one foot in front of the other.  The things I used to love, I had to slowly get back into…decorating, shopping, makeup, reading and cooking all filled my heart with joy.  The unfolding of this blog will hopefully ignite my inner light as I find another ‘new normal’ and share things I love with all of you with hopes that we come together to make a message of our mess and bring some light to those navigating their way through whatever challenge they face.